Stress Management - Your Personal Peace Plan

What's the opposite of stressed out?
Personal peace, from my viewpoint, is the dynamic, vital yet balanced state radically opposite from stressed out. My approach to stress management is not so much about limiting stress factors as it is about changing our response to them, from the inside out.
You can set and reach your objective of living in personal peace in a gradual, step by step transition through the use of intention plus a few shifts in perspective and simple changes in your lifestyle.
Three Musts for Transformation to Personal Peace
To shift your life from one of stress, worry, anxiety and frustration, to one of personal peace, calm and balance in the midst of a typically busy lifestyle requires three things:
Strong desire for a radical change. You have to want peace and calm enough that you are willing to do something differently, over and over and over.
Commitment to changing your thinking and a few key actions that you will identify. You have to put your new strategies into practice. Thinking or talking about change is not commitment. Doing reflects your commitment.
Persistence, not perfection, as you take small steps into your new way of personal peace. Coming back to your focus and doing it again and again, taking baby steps, even inching forward, will get most of us farther and faster than trying to make huge, radical changes overnight. It is quite amazing how quickly small steps taken regularly add up to transformation.
If you are ready to make the transformation to personal peace, here is a practical ten-step plan.
1. Learn to love and accept yourself just as you are. This may mean healing major emotional wounds from childhood, or just giving yourself permission not to be perfect! It begins with holding a clear intention and consistently giving love and acceptance to yourself. What is the most loving thing you can do right now? (It might include getting professional help to resolve those old issues.)
2. Learn to accept what is going on around you with a neutral attitude. Accepting doesn't mean you have to like it. It means you watch, you observe, you let it be what it is. You don't waste energy ranting and raving about things you are not in a position to change.
(Along with these first two steps, you can still be working to improve yourself, to work for change in outer situations, to negotiate better deals, etc. You just won't be getting all stressed and traumatized in the process.)
3. Learn to choose the positive in hundreds of everyday moments. Look for the good in everything. Think and speak in positive language. This is a powerful stress eraser and a great place to begin some of your small steps. Catch yourself seeing and speaking in positives, praise yourself and keep expanding this positive outlook.
4. Learn to use every experience as material for your learning, growth and uplifting awareness. When you find the "aha's" in a challenging situation, much of the stress dissolves automatically.
5. Discover your purpose in life. Clue: You are already doing it, but simply may not yet recognize it. Look at your relationships with yourself and others to tease out an understanding of your life purpose.
6. Laugh at yourself every day! Laughter is a great equalizer and brings healing to the moment.
7. Set your priorities and take action to achieve them. Move the rest of your wish list to the back burner of life. You can do most anything that you want, but you really can't "have it all" or "do it all" in one human lifetime. So pick up to ten goals that are most meaningful to you, and really work on those few. This step alone will help make your choices so clear and easy that a lot of stress will evaporate.
8. De-clutter and simplify your life -- clear out things, activities and people that are not in line with your priorities. You will free up tremendous energy for peaceful achievement of your heart's desires.
9. Take time for physical self-care. Yes, that means exercise, good nutrition, plenty of drinking water and -- Yikes! -- probably more sleep!
10. Make regular time for quiet reflection to stay in touch with your inner self, realigning your objectives and strategies as needed.
You may be reading this list and thinking, "She didn't mention combatting stress at all! What's the deal?" You're right. A life of personal peace is not about combatting much of anything. It is about transforming yourself into a peaceful, on-purpose type of person.
With Personal Peace You Don't Fight Stress
When you are moving forward with purpose, taking action on your priorities, loving, accepting and caring for yourself and responding in the moment to situations that you encounter, you don't need to fight stress.
You'll still have occasional stressful, upsetting or frustrating situations. Life is pretty much guaranteed to deliver those. But instead of fighting, you simply encounter each situation, handle it as best you know how in the moment, and move on.
It's sort of like in the movies when a Chuck Norris type steps aside and the opponent falls on his face because there is no opposition. You can't get flattened by stress, nor do you need dozens of stress-management techniques, when you authentically accept what is and keep moving positively on your purpose.
And now, as you plan your strategies for a life of greater personal peace, if you'd like more practical tips and techniques, I invite you to sign up for my free newsletter, 17 Simple Stress Solutions, at http://www.powerofpersonalpeace.com/optin.htm
You might also check out my articles on success, less stress, and my Ask Dr. Ilenya advice column at my blog, http://lovingyoursuccess.blogspot.com
Dr. Ilenya Marrin is a spiritual counselor, inspirational speaker and author of ebooks The Power of Personal Peace: Reducing Stress by Loving Yourself from the Inside Out and 77 Loving Steps for Success.
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